It's the end of the year

2007 is done. Good. It was a relatively shitty year for me. Not to get off on a rant here but it seemed like I was always fighting something or just dealing with bullshit caused by someone else. No offense but I don't need help creating bullshit for myself to fucking deal with. I have my own shit so a memo to everyone out there...keep your fucking shit to yourself...I DON'T WANT IT!

It was a maddening year too. Every time something good would happen, it was a result of something shit happening before it so you couldn't even enjoy the good thing because you are thinking "oh fuck me, I can't be happy after that." 2007 was a fickle cunt.

The more 2007 went on, the more I knew I was basically getting fucked in the eyesocket repeatedly. Everyone eventually was annoying the living shit out of me. It's bad enough that the world at large is fucked up beyond belief but does my own little hell need to be annoying?

On the plus side, I am still happily married to a woman who for whatever reason can deal with my moods. And yes I am like this all the fucking time. I think alot of people must figure I couldn't possibly be a dickhead all the time. Actually I can. I don't mean to but fuck it, it's my way.

One thing about this "Happy New Year" bullshit. When people say "Happy New Year" to you, are they saying this for the WHOLE year or just for midnight? I mean can I reuse your well wishes sometime in May? Or am I fucked because you just hope I am alive at midnight?

It's a weird saying. Happy New Year. It's like you are ordering me to enjoy the next year or else. "Have a happy new year, asshole or fuck off and die." Yes sir. And what happens if I accept your wishes and then I fuck up and have a shitty new year? Sorry Bill, but my new year is in the toilet, I have failed you and your well wishes, please pee in my mouth, I deserve it.

So I would wish everyone out there a happy new year but I don't think I have enough piss if you all fuck up next year.

My Top 20 Albums for 2007

Although this year kinda sucked as a whole (more on that tomorrow), musically it really kicked ass as far as I am concerned. I finally got really back into my roots and enjoyed myself. Here is my FINAL Top 20 album list for 2007. No apologies.

1. Porcupine Tree - "Fear Of A Blank Planet / Nil Recurring": I've lumped the EP in with the full length because it was part of the whole concept. Yes it's a concept album about today's youth and I think it's the best album PT has done. They were also amazing to see in concert.

2. Threshold - "Dead Reckoning": It was a very strange year for Threshold. They put out an absolutely amazing album and then right before the tour, their long time vocalist Mac quits the band. So they recruit their original vocalist to fill in. Hard luck I guess? In any case, this album rocks from start to finish.

3. Rush - "Snakes And Arrows": Rush has made it all the way back. I thought "Vapor Trails" was good but this album is much thicker sounding and the songs are better.

4. Angels & Airwaves - "I-Empire": They did it again! Their first album was my #2 for last year and caught me by surprise. Strangely, this one did as well. I figured there was no way this one could be as good given how could the debut album was AND that they put this one out less than a year later. Amazing.

5. Dream Theater - "Systematic Chaos": Yes Dream Theater fell to #5. What happened? This is a very good album but it's not a GREAT album like "Octavarium" was. I loved that one and held this album to that standard and it just doesn't have the same punch. At times they are forcing things which is a shame. Still a solid release.

6. Blackfield - "Blackfield II": Steven Wilson does it again! As if having a great Porcupine Tree album wasn't enough, the second Blackfield release is great. A must have.

7. Beardfish - "Sleeping In Traffic, Part 1": What a great find this was! A new prog band with an old style sound. They basically are updating the classic 70s prog sound. I can't wait for part 2!

8. Sieges Even - "Paramount": This album grew and grew and grew on me. So it jumped like crazy on my list. Wow! It blends heavy prog metal with a classic prog vibe. Amazing melody! Might be the most melodic album of the year.

9. Planet X - "Quantum": Welcome back. Planet X proves they are unbelievable musicians. Virgil Donati is an animal on the drums. This is their best release yet.

10. Charlie Hunter Trio - "Mystico": I wasn't even looking for this one and found it used. It blew me away. I had heard Charlie Hunter on XM Music Lab so I knew he could play but this album has a cool vibe. Sick acid jazz.

11. Jordan Rudess - "The Road Home": Best cover album I have heard in a while. I mean come on...he covers Genesis, Gentle Giant, ELP, King Crimson, and Yes. Amazing.

12. 3 - "The End Is Begun": They opened for Porcupine Tree which was awesome. I had heard that they had opened before for PT, so that's why I checked them out. The band from Woodstock! These guys prove there is hope for good music.

13. Coheed & Cambria - "Good Apollo, I'm Burning Star IV, Vol. 2: No World For Tomorrow": Long ass title but easily their best album to date. This album is more melodic, more complex but still easy to enjoy.

14. Umphrey's McGee - "The Bottom Half": These songs were the ones that didn't make the last album YET I like them alot more! Weird how that happens. This proves just how good these guys are musically.

15. moe. - "The Conch": I got into this one late in the game. I was surprised just how good they were and they rock out quite nicely. I am on board.

16. Fair To Midland - "Fables From A Mayfly: What I Tell You Three Times Is True": Another long title! Heavy yet progressive yet somewhat alternative. This was recommended by Dave and he was right. The album is worth it for "Dance of The Manatee" alone.

17. Puppet Show - "Tale Of Woe": Another great find. Well, I had Puppet Show's first album which came out TEN YEARS AGO! Like everyone, I forgot about them. The first album was good but not great. They are back and better than ever. Wow! Terry Brown mixed this and what a sound! Great album. Welcome back.

18. Radiohead - "In Rainbows": Everyone has heard about how this was sold for whatever people wanted to pay. So you'd think the band would crank out some shitty record. Not at all. This is easily their best since "OK Computer". I was starting to wonder.

19. Oceansize - "Frames": This is a fucking epic. I've said before that Tool should sound like these guys. They have it down. Complex and all that. They don't sound like Tool but they are what Tool is shooting for. This album is alot to digest and the reason it is lower on the list is only because I haven't fully done so.

20. Saga - "10,000 Days": Bittersweet album in that vocalist Michael Sadler announced this was his last album with them after 30 years! Yes 30 fucking years. The good news is the album kicks ass which with Saga is not a given. They had more then a couple of albums that basically stunk. But this album and the last one "Trust" are on par with anything they have done!

OK there it is. I refuse to change it. Time to put 2007 to bed.

Time to drive more traffic

I got a comment on an old post regarding my attempt to drive traffic to my blog by posting photos of my girl Hayley Marie Norman. Turns out it started to work. If you google her, my blog comes up on the second page. So guess what? Time to drive that to the first page!

Baseball Hall of Fame is not for everyone

I am really sick of the debates over the current crop of HOF eligible players. People seem to think being a very good player is enough to get in. Talk about bullshit. You need to be a legend. End of story. Compare the player to someone who is in there now. Can Tim Raines even hold Hank Greenberg's jock? Nope.

Bert Blyleven? Are you fucking kidding me? The guy has decent totals because he lasted 22 fucking years. He won 20 games ONCE. Jim Rice? If he wasn't a flash in the pan, maybe he would have been a good choice. He had a couple really good years and then disappeared. Goose Gossage? I think he is the only one with a fair argument but really...come on. He was no better than Jeff Reardon or Lee Smith. He is not a legend. No way. Notice that the only assholes arguing for him are Yankee fans and people who played with him or coached him.

People need to raise their standards for the HOF. It's okay to NOT elect anyone. Seems like people get in a panic if there are no obvious choices like Cal Ripken or Tony Gwynn. A shame. Let's NOT elect anyone this year. Why? No one deserves it.

Deep Vault Videos: For Jeff

Is Goose Gossage a Hall of Famer?

Let me help out by answering this hot question.


No.


Thanks for reading.

Christmas: Epilogue

So after all the caroles, trips to church, gifts, returns, food, drink and family, what is it all about? Well, I think I've figured out that it's not about the lame ass caroles. And church is not for everyone...that's clear for sure.

So then maybe it's exhanging gifts? Nah. Nice thought but you wind up trying to get people the same amount that they are getting you. Everyone plays that fucking game. Why not keep your cash and get whatever you want? 9 times out of 10, you are just smiling at the gifts you got just to humour people.

So what is the meaning? I think it's about the times you have with family and friends. Sure some of your family and/or friends aren't your favorites, but somehow it doesn't matter. You see those who are with you through the good times and bad, so this holiday and the others are about them. Hope it was good.

Christmas Analysis Part III: The Legend of Santa Claus

The final part of my look at Christmas deals with the icon that is Santa Claus. Unlike Jesus, Santa is universally associated with the holiday. What do I mean? You don't have to even believe in God to believe in Santa Claus. Santa allows atheists to celebrate the holiday. Not a bad thing really.

Santa Claus comes from the Patron Saint Nicholas who apparently liked giving gifts out. Maybe he was taking a cue from our three wisemen. Who knows? But the who point of Saint Nicholas' kind gift giving wound up taking on some pretty fucking insane elements.

First off, Santa Claus lives at the North Pole which last I checked was too fucking cold to be lived at by humans. OK, he has a giant toy factory there which keeps him warm. A toy factory run by...elves. Since elves don't exist, we then must assume that these are just a pack of midgets.

Now these midgets make toys. Back in the old days when you got wooden toys, I guess it was no big deal to believe a midget could make a wooden rocking horse. But now in the hi-tech age, these midgets are making video games that look an awful lot like those we see at WalMart.

Maybe the midgets stopped making toys and instead go out and SHOP for the toys and bring them back to the toy factory at the North Pole. At which point they wrap them for Santa. Sounds like slave labor, don't it? Then they load all the toys for every single child on the face of the Earth into a sleigh.

So now this average size sleigh can carry enough toys for every kid on the face of the Earth. Or does Santa double back after every fucking house? But back to the sleigh, which is pulled by reindeer (Rangifer tarandus). No big deal except that the reindeer can FLY. They don't have fucking wings but they can FLY. Why wouldn't the sleigh be pulled by giant hawks or how about those flying monkeys from the Wizard of Oz??? Sure they aren't real but it's a fuck lot more believable than reindeer flying.

There were an original group of 8 reindeer until Santa realized he needed some light. Afterall it's shitty outside and fucking DARK. So he found a reindeer called Rudolph who has a red lightbulb for a nose. Yes let's say that one a second time to really let it sink in. An animal with a red lightbulb for a fucking nose. Makes sense.

So then Santa has his sleigh full of toys shopped or made by midgets for every single child on the face of the Earth and he lands on the roofs with this sleigh pulled by flying reindeer with one with that red light bulnb nose. It gets weirder. Santa needs to gain entry into the houses.

Common criminals would go thru a window. Not Santa. Santa, who by the way I forgot to mention is morbidly obese, slides down chimneys. Yes a man who is roughly 300lbs or so somehow slides down a tight chimney WITH a sack filled with toys. How the fuck does a man that huge make past the first few feet or even inches? Maybe he drinks a magic potion and shrinks himself? Well that's find except then the huge bag of toys that the midgets bought won't fit down the chimney either.

So somehow Santa gets down the chimney. But then what about the people without fireplaces? Not everyone has one. Does Santa just go in through the front door then? Does he know the security codes to all alarms? I guess he does, since he sees me when I'm sleeping and knows when I am awake. This guy sounds more like Jesus with a weight problem.

Well I suppose I should stop there since I've done enough damage to this holiday over the last 3 days. I hope those that read this stuff took it all in good humor. Thanks to everyone who wastes time reading my bullshit blog. Have a safe and happy holiday!

Christmas Analysis Part II: The Birth of Christ

For alot of people, Christmas is simply the birth of Jesus Christ. Some people take it much more seriously than others by going to church 50 times during the holiday season. My question is are they wasting their time? I mean, how do we even know Christ was born on 12/24 or 12/25? Do we even know he existed?

Let's look at the whole scenario of Christmas Eve. First off, we have Mary. Mary was a virgin. So Mary never had sex. Mary was, however, pregnant. Now things get real sketchy. There is no change a virgin can be pregnant so either we have divine intervention OR Mary was a liar. And who is telling us that Mary was a virgin and how did they KNOW?

Then there's Joseph. Joseph was the "stepfather". As far as I know, he was married to Mary. Yet Mary was still a virgin? Makes no sense at all. No guy, I don't care who he is, is going to not fuck his wife AFTER they are married. I mean isn't it in the Bible that you have to consummate the marriage? So we are basically being told that Joseph didn't fuck his own wife and then when she tells him she is pregnant with God's baby, he says "Sure that's okay." NO guy on this planet, I don't care who he is, would say to his pregnant "virgin" wife that it's cool that she is having someone else's kid. I mean if she isn't fucking him, Joseph knows right off it's not his kid. Sketchy.

So we have a pregnant virgin with her good natured carpenter hubby looking for a place to have a kid. They try every house, hotel and I assume hospital but there's no place to stay. They were just looking for a place to crash so why not a barn? So the place they go to have the son of God is a stable. Very sanitary.

Then you have this star in the sky which somehow all these shepherds know means that the son of God is in that direction. How did they know? An angel? When was the last we heard from an angel? That night. And what was this star? Venus? Not according to the Bible but if it was Venus, that star was there every night around that time. So if the star was showing JUST that night, must have been a UFO. No can't be a UFO, because the thing never moved.

So we have this one night only Supernova star in the sky serving as a guide to a bunch of half baked shepherds showing them what direction to go to to get to a barn where the pregnant virgin and her happy go lucky undersexed husband are having the son of God. But wait! We have three noblemen also coming! Who are these kings? What countries are they from? Why would three kings travel together with NO entourage? Answer: they wouldn't! If I am a king, I have an ego the size of Siam. There is no way I am riding on a fucking camel with 2 other fucking kings. No, I am going to ride in something and having my peasants take me there. And I guess that same angel that told the shepherds also told them about the whole birth of Christ as well. Ok sure.

So now we have 3 emperors leaving their kingdoms which we have no idea WHAT kingdoms these are. All three kingdoms are ripe to be invaded or these three guys could get assassinated easily with no protection. So they are going through the desert with GIFTS! Ah yes, bring the baby some toys or maybe diapers! Nope. Gold, frankincense and myrrh. What? Ok the gold is a decent gift. That's basically cash which a carpenter can always use. But who the fuck brings a baby expensive perfume? Maybe there is a decent resell value on these 2? Is there a pawn shop where I can trade this expensive smelly shit in for something I can use? Talk about being out of touch. What were these guys thinking? I assume they are trying to impress the son of God. Bad news. He is a baby and has no fucking idea who you are OR what you brought him.

Then you have the Little Drummer Boy. Ok he is not in the Bible but odds are there were some peasants hanging around the barn when Jesus was born. Talk about a fucked up scene. The kid comes in the world to a supposed virgin mother and her less than bright hubby, surrounded by farm animals, camels, poor people, sheep, shepherds and these three rich jokers with bad gifts with this bright star in the sky for a one night only gig. And this is the savior of the world? This kinda shit is why people watch soap operas.

Tomorrow, I'll be looking at Santa Claus. He's not real but then after doing this analysis, it makes you wonder about Christ.

Christmas Analysis Part I: Caroles

I am doing a three part analysis of Christmas. Today I am looking at Christmas Caroles. Tomorrow, in part two, I'll be looking at the Birth of Christ and then on Christmas Day, I'll analyze Santa Claus.

Christmas Caroles have been around forever. You have two types: religious and seasonal. Both can be equally ridiculous. Seasonal caroles range from getting exciting over a snowstorm (Let It Snow), to decorating your house with shrubs (Deck The Halls) to praising a tree as if it was God himself (O Christmas Tree). Of course you have a host of "tunes" about Santa Claus, all of which are fairly inane.

Religious caroles shouldn't be as stupid BUT they are. You have first hand accounts of Christ's birth from wandering nobles (We Three Kings) to some peasant punkass percussionist (Little Drummer Boy). More on both of those in tomorrow's installment. The rest are standard praise hymns for the most part.

What kills me is that these lousy songs are sung and sung and sung and never questioned. And we never get new ones! Can't anyone write a new fucking carole. AND make it halfway intelligent. Stick to peace on earth. That's why "O Holy Night" stands out so much. Yes, it's religious BUT it has an awesome melody and a positive message with out any pandering.

Anyway, I guess you can tell I hate caroles. Tomorrow, I'll be looking into the Birth of Christ, looking at the logistics and such. Put it this way, if I haven't reserved a seat in hell by now, tomorrow will clinch it.

Don't piss me off

The last week has been really fucking annoying. Yeah I was not feeling well and lost my voice for a day, so that just compounds it. For whatever reason, everyone was annoying the living shit out of me. So much for "good will toward men" for this joyous fucking holiday season.

I don't really know why but anytime someone opened their yap, I really wanted to tell them to shut it and leave me alone. It never mattered what was being said either. The only choice I felt I had was to basically not engage anyone in a meaningful conversation. I know how I was going to react so there was no fucking point.

Why do people piss me off lately? Not sure really. I think there were a few factors that came into play and formed the perfect storm. One was the cold I had. Next was the time of season where people are overly cheery for no reason. Lastly and most importantly, people just seemed like they were rattling my cage.

It's hard to explain but people act like they know me so well that they can fuck with me. Not real bright. And given the amount of venom I had going on, there was no point in responding. So I give myself credit for ignoring assholes. It's my gift to the idiots during this fucking holiday season.

Sad story

I was reading about former A's pitcher Matt Keough who was arrested for drinking. Yes drinking. Apparently just drinking alcohol violates his parole. He has had problems with alcohol since 1992 when he was nearly killed by a line drive while sitting in a dugout. Matt Keough was a workhorse for the A's back in the day so this is sad. He has my thoughts during this holiday season.

Happy Holidays from your friends at TownNews East Greenbush

Neil fucking Diamond

Brownsville Station LIVE

The Four Seasons - December 1963 (Oh What A Night)

Are you down with the sickness?

Well it just figures. I haven't been sick all year and now I guess I am. I've been fighting this weird cold for a few days and it never seems to get worse. Today it decided to really fuck with me. I have laryngitis. That's right. I woke up with no voice at all, barely a whisper. It will cut in to a uber-deep, almost clicking sound and then back to the whisper. Oddly enough, I feel decent otherwise. I sound FAR worse than I feel. The cough is fun too.

And I quote...

"I want to state clearly and without qualification: I did not take steroids, human growth hormone or any other banned substances at any time in my baseball career or, in fact, my entire life," Clemens said Tuesday in a statement issued through his agent, Randy Hendricks.

And Bill Clinton said: "I did NOT have sexual relations with that woman." Rafael Palmiero said: ""I have never used steroids. Period. I don't know how to say it any more clearly than that. Never."

So, sure you didn't use em, Rog. You and Barry are fucking clean.

Discography in Review Part One: Rush

I thought I'd start a new thing where (if I have nothing major going on) I'll do a quick overview and rate each studio album by an artist. Why not start with Rush? The scale is 1 to 5 and if I feel I need to explain a rating I will.

Rush (1974) * - Yeah one star. It's pretty bad.
Fly By Night (1975) ***
Caress of Steel (1975) ***
2112 (1976) **** - I bet alot of people would give it five but I think 4 is fair.
A Farewell To Kings (1977) ***** - Flawless.
Hemispheres (1978) ****
Permanent Waves (1980) ****
Moving Pictures (1981) ****
Signals (1982) ****
Grace Under Pressure (1984) ****
Power Windows (1985) ****
Hold Your Fire (1987) ***** - My favorite Rush album. Yeah fuck you too.
Presto (1989) *** - The Pass alone brings this from 2 to 3.
Roll The Bones (1991) ***
Counterparts (1993) ****
Test For Echo (1996) ***
Vapor Trails (2002) ***
Feedback (2004) ***
Snakes And Arrows (2007) ****

echolyn - "Never The Same"

A Very Perry Christmas

Steve Perry: A Very Perry Christmas

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I hate snow

This is not breaking news at all but I fucking hate snow. I spent the last 4 days shoveling snow and cleaning my car off. I am sure alot of people did. But alot of those people have snowblowers. I have one that doesn't work. The problem is it almost doesn't make sense to buy another or even try to fix the one I have. My driveway isn't THAT long but when you are shoveling, it wears on you. By this morning, I was done. Baked. Toast. I hate winter. I hate snow. Fuck you.

Jon Anderson - 3 Ships: The 22nd Anniversary

I received my copy of the classic Christmas album 3 Ships yesterday. It came out in 1985 and my copy was on tape back then. I brought it to work and lost it there. We could only play Christmas tapes during the holiday season so I had had enough Elvis and Bing. The album went out of print and the only copies on CD were those $35 Japanese copies. Soooo, now I have it again and darn if I ain't in the holiday mood now. Here are the 2 videos from the album:

The A's rebuilding process officially has begun

The Oakland A's traded All-Star pitcher Dan Haren and right-hander Connor Robertson to the Arizona Diamondbacks for pitcher Dana Eveland, outfielder Carlos Gonzalez, pitcher Greg Smith, infielder Chris Carter, pitcher Brett Anderson and outfielder Aaron Cunningham. Haren was the clear #1 starter for the A's and was not making alot salary-wise so he was affordable. So why would Billy Beane trade him?

I've learned one thing being a long time A's fan who has seen how Beane operates and that is...NEVER DOUBT HIM! Haren was traded because his value could not have been higher and the A's were in need of young talent. The farm system needed a boost and the A's needed to get not only younger but healthier. I think Haren will be a great addition to the D-Backs. The question is out of all of these prospects, who will help the A's in 2008?

It looks like Dana Eveland will be given a shot to make the rotation. The word on him is that he is major league ready as is pitcher Greg Smith. Outfielder Carlos Gonzalez was apparently the centerpiece of the deal and former A's outfielder and current D-Back Eric Byrnes claims Gonzalez is "unbelievable". So expect Gonzalez to compete in spring training for a job.

The rest are all high end prospects. Chris Carter is a first baseman with alot of power and played A-ball last year as did outfielder Aaron Cunningham, who is being compared to Aaron Rowand AND lefty Brett Anderson who was Arizona's #3 prospect overall. Works for me.

Beane got a lot of value for Haren it looks like but that's based on potential so who knows. Connor Robertson was a throw-in if you are wondering. He looks to be a good AAA pitcher and not much more. He came up last year (who didn't?) and got hammered and then (like everyone else) got injured.

I don't think Beane is done at all. After what happened a couple years ago with Hudson and Mulder, I think Joe Blanton could be on the move as well. But then, who knows with Billy Beane? One thing I can say is I actually love this. I like trades and shaking things up. The A's will retool and they will be back. When he dealt Hudson and Mulder, they were supposedly in a rebuilding mode and yet the A's made a run that year of epic proportions...so don't count them out.

Cheaters always prosper

The Mitchell Report is really interesting. I looked through it and found the receipts to be the most interesting. You gotta love proof. I am not surprised at any of the names that were mentioned either. I know alot of people were shocked at some of them, but really nothing surprises me anymore.

I think we've crossed a line where it's more shocking to find out someone HASN'T cheated. So seeing names like Clemens, Pettitte or Tejada mentioned as cheaters really doesn't phase me. It's more refreshing to see someone like Frank Thomas stand up and point out the cheaters.

Yeah I dogged Thomas for bolting out of Oakland for more cash but that's me being a homer. I give the guy a ton of credit for doing things the right way. Another guy is Junior Griffey. With ALL those injuries, don't you think he could have juiced up and avoided all those injuries? Sure. But no, he did things fair and square. He is a first ballot Hall of Famer. Period.

I think those who have been outed for roids should be banned from the game and the Hall of Fame. This is far far worse than the Black Sox scandal of 1919. Why? The players then were being screwed out of money by Charles Commiskey and their only method of recourse was to take money from gamblers. Some of the players, namely Shoeless Joe Jackson, actually DOUBLECROSSED the gamblers.

The steroid users are just cheating to benefit themselves. They are just selfish. I don't condone what the Black Sox did but it's just not the same as what we have today. This needs to be dealt with severely. Well Bud? What's it gonna be?

Knowing when to fall on a sword

I think I've finally figured out my role. I am the guy who "takes one for the team". The problem is it's not a one time offer. I know it should be something that happens once but no I must like abuse or something. The truth is I do feel I need to do it. What I don't want is someone getting fired or whatever for no good reason so I step in and take a few bullets. It's kinda tiring though. Takes alot out of you. Let's hope today goes better.

Bobby is not alone

Bobby Petrino quit the Falcons after 13 games. Who can blame him? Vick is a convict. The clowns on the team are openly supporting him. The team sucks as a whole. And he is better off at his old job.

Sounds familiar. I lasted at Autotask for 3 months before I realized the same thing he did. I was in a bad situation that was not gonna improve and would get worse. So I did what Bobby is doing, I went back to where I had my successes. I don't consider myself a failure but rather a smart person who knew a fucked up situation when he saw one. So good for you Bobby.

To show how stupid people are...

This is the EPSN article showing how stupid 2 Falcons were last night. I took the liberty of running it thru a JIVE translator.

ATLANTA -- Afta' Michael Vick wuz sentenced t'nearly two years in prison, two uh his fo'ma' Atlanta Falcons teammates sent messages t'de disgraced quarterback in Monday night's 34-14 loss t'de New Orleans Saints. Co'nerback DeAngelo Hall, who played wid Vick at Virginia Tech and in Atlanta, ran onto de field holdin' down some posta' of Vick and played da damn game wid "MV7" written on de shade unda' bod eyes. Late in de fust quarter, receiva' Roddy Honky pulled down his jersey afta' haulin' in some 33-yard touchwaaay down pass fum Chris Redman, revealin' some black shirt wid de wo'ds "Free Mike Vick" in honky letters. "Dat wuz cribmade. ah' dun did dat mah'self," Honky said. "It ain't too much t'say, ya' know, so cut me some slack, Jack. De team misses him and we real need him dis season. 'S coo', bro. Dere ain't too much mo'e t'say about it. Man!" Honky appeared t'be fightin' his emoshuns. Ax'ed if de day had been emoshunal, Honky said simply "Yeah," befo'e endin' de interview, so cut me some slack, Jack. Hall said da damn players wants'ed t'show dey wuz dinkin' uh Vick as mo'e dan some ball player. Ah be baaad... "We dun did dat fo' de simple fact we wants'ed t'let him know we's still dinkin' about him," Hall said. "Dat wuz mah' sucka'al doodad fo' hangin' it. Man! "I duzn't wanna say dis franchise duzn't wanna acknowledge da damn situashun, but dat's kind'a de way ya' feel. All his pictures all gone, no mo'e jerseys, no mo'e nodin'. We plum wants'ed t'let him know we's still dinkin' about him. WORD! We care about him as some human bein', not plum as some ball playa' and as some runnin' quarterback. Ya' know?" Vick wuz sentenced t'23 monds in federal prison earlia' Monday on his guilty plea t'dogfightin' changes. He gots'ta miss at least two full seasons while servin' his time and be unlikesly t'play again fo' de Falcons. Hall said he wants'ed t'drow "a tribute t'Mike" but wants'ed t'avoid any dought da damn Vick sentencin' affected da damn team's play. Slap mah fro! "We had some game t'play and we had t'do whut we needed t'do and it dun didn't gots nuthin t'do wid Mike," Hall said. "Mike took de blame fo' de losses when he wuz here, and he dun didn't drow de way y'all wants'ed him t'drow o' dun didn't complete as many passes. "We's still blamin' him fo' losses we's digtin' as some team and he's not even here t'play. Slap mah fro! It's some catch-22 he kin't win. 'S coo', bro. ah' plum wants'ed t'let him know we's still dinkin' about him and we still love him. WORD!"

What if...

What if the Patriots go unbeaten? I will lay odds they lose in the playoffs.

What if the Dolphins go winless? Do the '76 Bucs open champagne?

What if Dan Haren and Joe Blanton get traded by the A's? The rotation will be headed up by...I have no fucking clue. Chad Gaudin, Lenny DiNardo, Justin Duchscherer and god forbid Rich Harden??

What if LSU beats Ohio State in the BCS title game? The national champs will have 2 loses!! Time for playoffs...ask Hawaii.

What if the Yankees rely on LaTroy Hawkins as their main setup guy and part time closer? They are fucked.

What if the Twins keep Johan Santana? They will get alot less when he leaves as a free agent.

Fukudome

So I read this guy's name on ESPN and I thought they were fucking with me. Kosuke Fukudome is a top outfielder in Japan who is trying to make the jump to the majors in the US. I see his name and I see Fuck you, do me. FUKUDOME. FUK U DO ME. Come on. This guy is in for it.

Nuts

Supper's Ready

Mystery Resolved!

Ever wonder why men get skidmarks and women never seem to? No it's not because we don't wipe as good. Women seem to think that's the reason. No, the real reason is quite simple. We have hairy cracks and they do not. There you have it! Another mystery resolved on The Idiot Chronicles. Carry on.

Memo to Billy Beane: Stay away from Bonds

The rumor is that the A's will sign steroid king Barry Bonds and let him play left and split time with Jack Cust at DH. I hope Billy Beane is smarter than that. I thought he was, so I guess we'll see. The A's do not need the baggage and distractions that come with Bonds. He is a cancer in the clubhouse as well.

The A's need to let Cust improve and play DH full time. As for left field, I have an idea. Re-sign Shannon Stewart. Or just let Travis Buck play there!!! The outfield in theory has Buck in left, Mark Kotsay in center and Nick Swisher in right. So yes the A's need another guy in that rotation since Kotsay is getting more and more brittle. Swisher needs to stay in one place. Signing an aging left fielder who has no range and a shit load of legal issues...illogical.

The problem for Bonds is that outside of the Bay Area, everyone hates the guy. I do. He is an embarrassment to the game and I don't want my team involved in his circus. I have a big problem with it. Besides, the A's need a RIGHT handed power hitter and not another lefty.

So Billy, do me a huge favor and don't waste the money on Bonds. His ego won't fit in the clubhouse anyway plus if all goes well, he will be doing some time in jail.

Taking one for the team

I think I mentioned about sending an email which I was attempting to get a point across in a clever manner. Well unfortunately, the point eventually was made but my tone or attitude was deemed less than satisfactory. I was basically getting out the feelings of the whole NY office and basically I was prepared to accept whatever shitstorm came my way. No such storm did but because I attacked the situation with the idea I would get pissed on, the tone was a bit abrasive. Yeah I know. Hard to believe. So I apologized since it was the right thing to do. But the email accomplished its goal of getting zwire firmly in everyone's face and as a topic of discussion and learning. No regrets.

Progressive Rock in the 80s

The 70s were the golden era of progressive rock but I have a soft spot for the 80s:

Dare to be stupid

So now I've opened a can of worms, well I think so anyway. I basically dared people at work to promote and teach something they seem to have issues with. Mostly just ignorance. It was either the best idea I've had or just a dumb move. But I've been a bit of a pain in the ass lately so this is right up that alley. Let's see how people react, shall we?

Strange Praise for the Rays?

So far for me, the baseball off season has been rather uneventful. The A's haven't done anything except for tease people with Dan Haren and Joe Blanton. For the record, I don't think Billy Beane should move either guy but I wouldn't be surprised if either or BOTH are dealt.

What has been nice to see is how the Tampa Bay Rays are doing. First they clean up the team name and logo but ditching the Devil. Sounds and looks more like a winner already. Then they made some smart trades and a great free agent signing.

Trading Delmon Young for Matt Garza was a great trade for both the Twins and Rays, but the Rays have a ton of young outfielders and needed pitching so for the Rays this was huge. Young is gonna be another Jose Guillen, you can figure that one out. Garza is gonna give them a legit #3, maybe #2 starter.

The other deal was to send even more troubled outfielder Elijah Dukes to Washington for minor league pitcher Glenn Gibson. Hopefully this kid Gibson will be something but Dukes was a cancer. He made Young look like a balanced guy. Now the Rays can better sort out their outfield which will have Carl Crawford, B.J. Upton and my boy Rocco Baldelli.

Then the Rays sign veteran closer Troy Percival which gives that bullpen a huge lift. They claim he will fill a "variety of roles". Bullshit. Al Reyes, last year's closer, did a decent job but his ERA was high and so are you if you think he keeps his job over Percival.

Anyway, I tend not to praise other teams being such a homer for the A's but it's nice to see a team that's been so fucking awful start to make good moves. I hope they aren't finished. Yeah they are in the division with the 2 overspending whores but maybe they can surprise everyone.

Best music of 2007 in video

This isn't everything but alot of the top albums of the year for me...

Bored Sunday

I took a personality quiz which is given by HR departments. I figured I would see if these things are bullshit. The result:

"Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful and practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest...Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken."

So it's accurate. Not bad. Not interesting either.

Vick might want to get ready for a teabag session

Mike Vick's partners in crime got a decent sentence of 18 and 21 months. Vick faces up to 5 years in jail. My guess is the judge won't have the balls to give Vick the max, even though Vick deserves it. In any case, given the sentences of his partners, Vick is going to be in jail for a while. Given his status as a celeb and the shitty charges involved, he is going to make someone a nice bitch. Unfortunately, he will probably get a nice bullshit safe jail where he won't see real cons. This guy needs a good ass raping to show him how life is.